I didn’t hug him for long enough, and I didn’t kiss him like I had envisioned I would. I was feigning a bad mood – I was flustered and agitated. But that was because I was distracting myself from the sad reality of leaving him. It was a defense mechanism. I didn’t realize it then, but I realized it when I was too far across the gate to turn back and run to him, and give him a proper good-bye.
It’s a bleak day in Oklahoma and a freezing one in Johannesburg. It’s not raining – yet. And I’m surprised I didn’t have rainy weather on my face this morning while I said goodbyes to my family and Reston. That’s the way I had thought it would go, all these months that I had imagined the romantic farewells and long airport kisses.
It didn’t happen that way. It was short, it was sweet, it was to the point. Because had it not been, I would have cried – I would have been blotchy-eyed and puffy-faced for the duration of my flight. Because once I was to start, I wouldn’t stop. It would just keep hitting me and slapping me around and shoving me back into my seat – You’re not going to see him for another four months! HA! HA! HA!
He wore the same thing he wore yesterday, an earthy green shirt with an outline of Africa and khaki shorts, an oil stain on the leg. But he can pull it off. Several times I looked back at him while I waited to go through security, to make sure he hadn’t left me yet. He was there the whole time, until I disappeared into a hall only travelers could pass through. One day it’ll be both of us –
And he’ll help me carry my bags. Because they are heavy.
well i did! i couldnt help it, its just how weak i am i had to let the tear fall. but some were tears of joy, well most of them were! i am soooo happy that you got to South Africa safely! I was baby sitting and could hardly look at your room it was way to sad! but then i remembered your Dreams can true and your going to have the time of your life! and i cant wait to read all about it!
ReplyDeletelots and lots of love your cuz!